


The way to nowhere

by Phantomxlegend



Series: Percy Jackson one-shots :p [138]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Apollo Cabin - Freeform, Apollo kinda comforts Will, Father Son Bonding, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda, Michael and Lee are mentioned, OOC warning, i guess, no editing we die like men, not really - Freeform, will angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28282326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantomxlegend/pseuds/Phantomxlegend
Summary: Will hadn’t even thought about that rusted ladder and the nights spent alone on the rooftop looking up at the stars and wondering what he had done wrong to end up like this.He didn’t know that there was someone else that’d know about the ladder.
Relationships: Apollo & Will Solace
Series: Percy Jackson one-shots :p [138]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701808
Comments: 14
Kudos: 64





	The way to nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> I... don’t know why I wrote this. Title is an Alec Benjamin song. I haven’t been able to muster the motivation to write... and the mental energy to respond to comments has been slim. I kinda forced myself to write something so I kept up the practice and this is how it turned out.
> 
> Everyone is probably very out of character. Whatever. I think this is the first time I’ve tried writing Apollo. 
> 
> No plot or timeline focus.

Around the back of the Apollo cabin, there was a ladder that led up to the roof, it was shrouded in vines and rusty but it was something.

The only people that knew about it were Michael and Lee, who had told Will when he was younger. Will hadn’t told anyone about the ladder since his brothers died. He hadn’t thought that it was important, and it was some place that he could hide where no one else would be able to find him.

There were only two other people in the world that knew about it (besides possibly the gods) and both of them were dead.

Will hadn’t even thought about the roof of the cabin in months, a while after the war with Gaea did he remember the rusted ladder and the nights spent alone on the rooftop looking up at the stars and wondering what he had done wrong to end up like this.

It was one of those nights.

Will didn’t even bother bringing one of his many blankets up to the roof. He let the night air and the dampness that hung heavy seep into his skin. He shivered, laying on his back on the cold surface. 

No clouds obscured the moon or the stars. They usually never did.

Will could hear the harpies making their rounds, they never usually came up this high so he had no need to worry about them.

Will shivered again, he sighed, his arms spread out on the roof top.

He supposed that when he heard the soft clunk of shoes on the rungs of the ladder, it should’ve alarmed him a bit more, since supposedly no one knew about this. But he didn’t react, or move from where he was laying down, staring at the stars.

A figure sat down, a few feet away from him not saying anything. Will barely glanced over, noticing the curly hair of the mortal form his father had appeared as.

Apollo didn’t look at Will, it looked like he didn’t even notice Will was there.

“What are you doing up here?” Will asked, licking his lips. His voice was hoarse and cracked pitifully. He hadn’t been crying though.

“I thought you might need some company,” Apollo responded after a beat of silence, he pulled his knees up to his chest.

“How’d you know I’d be up here?” Was the next question Will thought to ask.

“I am Apollo after all,” Apollo didn’t sound so boastful at that sentence, “it is a good place to come when one isn’t feeling well.”

Will sighed, “I’m feeling just fine you know. You didn’t need to come up here.” He should’ve had more respect, or even a little sympathy for his father. Maybe he should’ve felt something at the fact that Apollo had taken the time to come up here because he thought that Will would be lonely. Yet Will felt nothing of the moment.

“I know,” there was a softness to Apollo’s voice that Will hasn’t heard when he talked to him during the daytime. It was something that seemed to be reserved for secret moments like this.

“You should get some better rest,” Will said, he crossed one arm over his stomach, the first movement he made in a while besides turning his head.

Apollo said nothing for a while, “why are you up here?”

It was now Will’s turn for hesitation.

“Just thinking about stuff.”

Bitterly Will thought what a terrible impression he was making on his dad. He was supposed to be stronger than this, help his father or at least prove something. That he could be a good head counselor? Will would never admit that he wanted to impress Apollo. He figured having Apollo see him like this wasn’t doing much good for that impression.

“It’s quite cold out here, is it not?”

Will shivered, “I don’t understand why you’re sitting here with me right now.”

Apollo looked up at the moon, taking a moment to mull over his thoughts, “I’ve not been a good father, I never have been and I’m not able to fix what I’ve done. But I hope that I can offer some comfort to you right now.”

Will licked his lips, unsure how to respond to something like that. Apollo seemed genuine, but a part of Will didn’t understand his intentions still.

When he spoke, his voice cracked, “do you know the counselors that were around before me?”

“Yes,” Apollo swallowed thickly, “I remember them.”

“It was only us three that knew about the ladder,” Will didn’t know why he was saying this, it didn’t matter, it wasn’t anything important, “we’d come up here something’s and hang out I guess. One time me and Michael slept all night on the roof, under the stars. No one found out.”

Apollo didn’t say anything, Will continued, “after they died… I never told anyone about it. I don’t know if someone noticed it and just didn’t point it out or if I’m really the only one that knows about it now. I…”

“Do you think telling one of your siblings about this place would help?” Apollo asked. Will shook his head.

“It’s nice sometimes having a hiding spot that no one knows of. Not even Nico. I’m only good at running and hiding from my problems,” Will laughed humorlessly, “you can’t even see from down below unless you stand.”

Apollo rubbed his legs, looking over at his son with an unreadable expression. Will’s chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm as he stared up at the sky. Will shivered again.

After a few minutes of silence, Will spoke up again, “Hey, Apollo?”

“Yes?” 

“You ever…” Will’s voice cracked, “you ever know that something should hurt, and it should hurt really bad, because you’re so used to the pain that it causes. But then suddenly, it doesn’t feel like anything. And you sit there wondering why it doesn’t hurt, why you don’t feel anything. You just feel… so… numb to everything.”

“I think I can imagine what you’re feeling,” Apollo barely inclined his head in a nod.

Will laughed again, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, “sorry, that was a stupid thing to say. I don’t know why I said that.”

“Is that how you’re feeling right now?”

Will exhaled slowly. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, “all the time. When I think about the past, when Michael and Lee were alive. I can’t think about anything else from it. It should hurt, I’ve gone through these last few years where thinking of the past hurts so much… but recently I just get numb when I remember.”

Maybe it was because Will wasn’t really thinking properly, that was the only reason that he was telling Apollo all this. He was exhausted and cold and wanting to feel something.

“The numbness will pass,” Apollo promised.

“I know. It’s tiring you know,” Will shrugged listlessly, his shoulders cracked, “I can’t let Kayla or Austin see me when I’m like this. What good am I when I can’t even fake a smile?”

Apollo made a noise from the back of his throat, “you are strong and responsible even if you are unable to smile. It is not healthy to try and be okay all of the time.”

“Possibly,” Will closed his eyes, “you should go back to bed.”

“Would you like to be alone?” Apollo asked.

“Kind of.”

Apollo nodded, “goodnight Will.”

“Goodnight.”

The sounds of Apollo retreating down the ladder echoed in the night. Will stared up at the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas Eve? I guess. Idk. Idk how to feel about this fic, it’s 1:30 am, that’s a later phantom problem to deal with. I’m going to bed. 
> 
> Goodnight thanks for reading.
> 
> Also I haven’t read tower of Nero yet so... just thought I needed to put that out there Uh...


End file.
